There seems to be no official record of how many Americans send Christmas presents to the First Family, but we can assume from a message on WhiteHouse.gov that it does happen:
While President Obama, the First Lady, Vice President Biden, and Dr. Biden appreciate your generosity, they request that instead you look to your local community for opportunities to assist your neighbors in need.
A great message, but there are a few things President Obama could really use as we head into 2015. It’s a little late in the day to go shopping, but hey, a late gift is better than no gift at all. I’m sure the following four presents would be warmly received at the White House.
A Copy of the Constitution
Did you know that Barack Obama was once considered a constitutional scholar? Oh yes. But it seems as though he’s forgotten much of what is written in that founding document. Whether it’s his questionable authority to wage war against ISIS without the consent of Congress or his executive action on immigration, the president has shown a clear need for a copy of the Constitution. With a little bedtime reading, he can re-familiarize himself with the proper role of the executive branch.
Tiger Woods PGA Tour ’14
Obama fell under harsh criticism this year when he hit the links after delivering a statement on the beheading of journalist James Foley. He later said that he failed to consider the “optics” of playing golf after addressing such a horror. But, you know, the man likes to golf. The next time something important threatens to encroach on his tee time, Obama can flip on his Playstation instead of heading to the golf course. It’s a sacrifice, yes, but it’s one I’m sure our president will be glad to make.
A Class in Negotiation
Who knew you had to be a good negotiator to be an effective leader? President Obama couldn’t have expected that he would have needed such skills when he took the job; it was completely unforeseeable. But he has demonstrated several times this year that he could use a helping hand in this department. Whether he was trading millions of dollars and several Gitmo terrorists for an Army deserter, giving away the farm to China in a “historic” climate change agreement, or appeasing a Cuban dictator in exchange for a prisoner, Obama flunked the test on negotiations. Perhaps a class – maybe a private mentoring session with a top expert – would help him make better demands in the future.
An Assurance That He Won’t Be Forgotten
Don’t have any money to spend on the president this year? It’s understandable, given the shape of the “booming” economy. And it’s fine. Just write him a little note assuring him that he won’t be forgotten after he leaves office. Hey, you’re the first black president! That alone ensures your legacy. You really don’t have to act so desperate to be remembered. You don’t have to legalize millions of border-jumpers, you don’t have to kill American businesses with outrageous climate change regulations, and you don’t have to “cure” race relations. You can just relax. Go with the flow. Play your new video game. Let Congress take the wheel for a little while. We’ll remember you, Mr. President.
I mean, how could we forget?