In a bit of sad pandering to feminism on Friday, Budweiser celebrated “International Women’s Day” by going back in their archives and updating some of their old 1950s advertisements to “better portray balance and empowerment” for the modern era. We’re not sure that anyone requested this, appreciated it, or wanted it to begin with, but never underestimate these companies and their rabid desire to prove how woke they are on Twitter. And after already embarrassing itself with some miss-the-mark Super Bowl spots, Budweiser went Full Gillette with this series of redone, feminism-friendly advertisements

Helped by “an organization devoted to the accurate portrayal of women in media,” Budweiser successfully erased any notion that a woman should base any part of her life on her husband, family, or any other heteronormative tropes that are just so darned outdated in 2019. We’re surprised they didn’t go whole hog and show a woman downing a Budweiser while sitting in an abortion clinic’s waiting room. We guess that would have at least been shocking; what they did instead was just kinda stupid and…sad.

This is probably the worst of them, where a woman has – in 50 years of progress – traded a husband and family for a lonely night drinking with her dog. Who looks at this and says, “Yeah, we’ve come a long way, baby?” It’s pathetic. Not that there’s anything wrong with getting some Chinese food and drinking a few cold ones in front of the television, but since when is it a lifestyle worth celebrating? Maybe we’re reading into this a little much, but it’s just weird to see this held up as some societal victory.

“This year, in honor of #InternationalWomensDay, we are reimagining our ads of the past to better portray balance and empowerment. Budweiser is proud to partner with @seeher2020, an organization devoted to the accurate portrayal of women in media and advertising,” the company tweeted.

But that’s the thing, there is no “balance” in the new ads. In fact, that’s the problem with feminism in general. There is absolutely no respect for traditional gender roles – no willingness to concede that for many, many women, staying home and having kids and being a “homemaker” is not only acceptable but greatly preferable to the corporate rat race. That for many women, having a loving marriage and family is not a consolation prize, but the real deal. That for many women, the idea of sitting home alone with a box of takeout food and a Budweiser represents the absolute pinnacle of loneliness.

By saying “this” is empowerment, feminists aren’t just taking the PATRIARCHY down a peg, they are insulting the millions of American women who do not choose to run themselves ragged trying to so-called “have it all.” There’s such a thing as progress, and then there’s such a thing as change for the sake of change. Budweiser, to our eyes, is celebrating the latter.