If this article hadn’t been published in the mainstream press – the (extremely) pro-immigration Los Angeles Times, no less – you would think it originated on one of those deplorable white supremacist websites Hillary Clinton warned us about. We’ve been told that Donald Trump has said horrible, racist things about Hispanics, but he never accused them of being insane.

“In 30 years, Maria Murillo Beltran, the astrologer known as La Galla (the rooster) thought she’d heard it all,” writes Esmeralda Bermudez. “But recently, people have begun to pop into her purple-and-gold lobby with a new problem they pronounce: El Tromp. As in El Donald J. Trump.”

Yes, according to the L.A. Times, Latinos all over California are turning to the supernatural to help them overcome the blonde demon masquerading as the Republican nominee. Bermudez informs us that they’re not just hitting up astrologers but also “fortune tellers, witch doctors, and shamans.”

Hispanics aren’t limiting themselves to shopping mall mystics, either; Spanish-language TV is rife with prophets who proclaim that Trump will lose. Bermudez tells us that a character named Walter Mercado in Puerto Rico sees “little future” for Trump politically. Antonio Vasquez, known as Mexico’s “Grand Warlock,” has also predicted a Hillary Clinton victory.

Wait, these people aren’t serious, you say. But they are. Bermudez tells us the tale of Juan Hernandez, a Guanajuato transplant who is awaiting legalization. Fearing that a Trump presidency would put his naturalization application on hold, Hernandez made an appointment with a young psychic. Hernandez wasn’t worried about the man’s age, seeing as the psychic’s “mother was also a sorcerer.” The wizard told him that he foresaw a woman in the Oval Office, and thus Hernandez left with a confident stride.

Like magic!

Say, is “witch doctor” one of those jobs that “Americans won’t do”? Just wondering.

There’s really not much to analyze about the piece; it’s just fluff by a writer who is running out of election angles. Which we have some sympathy for.

But it’s a little funny when you think about it. Calling a small subset of illegal immigrants rapists and drug dealers? Monstrous. Making it look as though most Hispanics believe in magic? Perfectly fine.

On the other hand, if you’re still trying to figure out how Hillary Clinton escaped justice, a Grand Warlock in Mexico might have some answers…