Boy, they like to talk about President Donald Trump’s arrogance and inflated sense of self, but has anyone measured the size of Gov. Andrew Cuomo’s ego? Are there instruments powerful enough for such a measurement, or are we talking about a size that is beyond even modern scientific calculations? The New York governor is so far up his own posterior that he could kiss his own spine if he felt inclined to do so. Which, given his love of himself, we don’t doubt that he would.

In an embarrassing press conference on Monday, Cuomo told Dr. Anthony Fauci that the two of them were like a couple of modern-day masters of New York cinema: Al Pacino and Robert De Niro.

Let’s see how things got to this mock-worthy point.

“Doctor, on the question of this state’s infection rate versus other states, we’re lower than all states besides Vermont, Maine, Hawaii. Does that surprise you, and how do you explain that?” Cuomo said, patting himself on the back hard enough to risk spraining a wrist.

“I have to say being a New Yorker, Governor, it doesn’t surprise me,” Fauci said, playing along. “You guys, as you and I have discussed on many phone calls that we’ve had, you got hit with a sucker punch right from the beginning, when the cases came in from Europe, and the Northeastern corridor, particularly New York State, particularly the metropolitan area, got hit really, really badly. You recovered from that, was after you got hit badly, your baseline level went way, way down and very, very low, and then you did things which were the appropriate way to avoid getting re-surging [cases]. So the bad news, and it’s painful for me to see it from a distance to my place of birth, but you guys got really slammed.”

Notice that when a red state gets hit hard by the coronavirus, all the blame goes to the governor and Trump. When a blue state like New York hits hit, it’s all “you got hit with a sucker punch” and “look how wonderfully you recovered!”

In any case, Cuomo was so pumped up by Fauci’s praise that he devolved into pure silliness.

“Doctor, on this education of the population of both the small spreads and even more now the vaccine, ‘Take the vaccine, it’s safe,’ I think that’s going to be difficult to do. I think you have tremendous credibility, not just across the country, but across this state. And I think your voice on saying that the vaccines are safe would be important. I said that as soon as the vaccine is deemed ready and safe, I’ll be the first one to take a vaccine. Maybe we enlist you, I’ll do it with you. We’ll do an ad telling New Yorkers it’s safe to take the vaccine, to put us together.

“We’re like the modern day De Niro and Pacino,” he continued. “You can be whichever you want, you can be the De Niro or Pacino. Fauci and Cuomo, I’ll give you a – who do you want to be? De Niro or Pacino? Which one do you want to be?”

We’re not exactly clear on why Cuomo and Fauci would be like Pacino and De Niro just because they’re going around telling people that the vaccine is safe, but there you have it.

Our favorite response on social media came from Matt Binder, who said, “Is Cuomo basing his own personal comparison on the total number of people dead at the hands of Pacino and De Niro’s characters in their respective movies combined?”

We were actually thinking something like “Meet the Parents,” because if Cuomo’s sense of his own awesomeness isn’t high comedy, we don’t know what is.