This week, conservative legend Rush Limbaugh discussed on his show an idea floated by Senator Ted Cruz. Since the CNBC debate so clearly demonstrated the seething hatred the media has for conservatism, why not let someone like Limbaugh moderate the next GOP debate?

But El Rushbo had a better idea.

“I think if I moderate a debate, it ought to be a Democrat debate,” he said. “I mean, if you’re gonna even this out and we’re going to make this fair, you let me moderate the next debate with Hillary and the socialist and the abs.”

By socialist, he means Vermont Senator Bernie Sanders. By “abs,” he means former Maryland Governor Martin O’Malley, who – like the song says – has “a history of taking off his shirt.”

Isn’t that an interesting idea? Can you imagine what that would look like? To have Rush Limbaugh in charge of challenging these candidates on their poisonous policies?

But maybe we could even go one better. What if there was a whole week where all the liberal news stations and newspapers put the same amount of conservative bias into their reporting as they currently do liberalism? What if there was a scientific way to measure it out, and for one week, all of the reporters and anchors and producers chose stories and angles that promoted conservatism in exactly the same measure that they currently promote their own failed philosophy?

But of course that will never happen. Why? Well, because conservatism is a philosophy of optimism. Liberalism is the opposite of that. It breeds and encourages pessimism. It teaches dissatisfaction. That would be okay, if it encouraged you to look for the roots of your dissatisfaction internally. If it told you to look inside yourself and find the things you don’t like – addictions, bad habits, weaknesses, etc. – before taking steps to change them. But liberalism doesn’t offer that. It encourages you to instead bemoan things over which you have absolutely no control. The climate of the planet, for instance. Or worse, the history of America.

Burdened with all of these worldly wrongs, the liberal is riddled with anxiety and depression. How do you find happiness when everything is so rotten? Well, the first step is to absolve yourself of any responsibility. You’re a victim. The world is against you. There’s no way to win, and if you do happen to find a way, then you’ve automatically become part of the problem.

So what then? Well, just stay tuned! Look at all the great stuff you could be buying to make yourself feel better! Can’t afford it? Whose fault is that? Maybe if there weren’t so many greedy billionaires out there, you would have your share. Say, this politician over here wants to take their money and give it to you!

There’s a reason the majority of self-made millionaires tend to be conservative. Liberals will argue that it’s because they want to keep their money. There’s some truth to that, but it doesn’t account for everything. Otherwise, Hollywood would be a bastion of conservatism, and that’s obviously not the case. The real reason is that they know that happiness cannot be bought with a handout. Nor, indeed, with all of the consumer goods in the world. But it can be earned through the process of becoming successful. By testing yourself day in and day out and knowing that you and you alone are responsible for the quality of your own life.

If that philosophy ever got popular, the networks would be finished. They want to keep you stewing in your own misery. They want you to blame the natural laws of the world for your own misfortune. And they want you to continually seek little vacations from that misery in the form of the latest video game, the latest car, the latest iPhone, and the latest fast food monstrosity. All the while, clinging to the hope that if you vote for Democrats long enough, sooner or later you’ll find one that actually makes your life better.